Notes from a Graduate Student

I know I once posted to my Facebook some notes from my undergraduate Astronomy class, that I'm sure everyone by now has read. If you haven't, they were quite entertaining.
This time, however, is different.

In the last two weeks, I've had to do a lot of reading (in general, between my 3 classes I'm taking, I'm assigned to read 150 pages a week) about Philosophy in Music Education. This, in general, is probably not the best thing for me to be reading right now. Why, you ask? For starters, I'm already in the unstable position of asking God why He sent me to graduate school, when my heart's huge and most passionate desire is to go for staff with Great Commission Ministries (preferrably at Bowling Green, unless God puts in me an insatiable desire to go somewhere else). Let's also consider that generally, Philosophy in Music Education encompasses one's values and beliefs for teaching music. These values and beliefs guide how a teacher teaches music, and why they're even in the profession in the first place.
That being said, I've definitely be questioning God about graduate school more than ever! So, without further interruption, here are some notes from my graduate classes:

Foundations of Music Education

• I feel that music is valuable, but you don't need to be in a music class to feel its power or see its value in your life. (Uh oh, it's not looking good. See next question.)
• So why is teaching music important to me? Why did I choose this instead of math or english or science or history?
• My philosophy, purpose, and overriding life goals, passions, and understanding have little to do with music. And everything to do with living a life of purpose, on purpose, completely content and fulfilled in God's neverending love and grace.
• My purpose, reasoning, and philosophy for being a music educator, I realize, can be carried out in a much more meaningful way in a more lasting context. (BAM! And there it goes...)

As for why I'm in Graduate School... well, as many of you know, I'm in this Research in Music Education class that's been giving me the toughest time. This is about to be the craziest thing (or most amazing thing), but God SPOKE to me during Research class last night! Here's the DL:

Written at the top of my notes for the night, also highlighted:

• "God grant me the serenity to ACCEPT the things I CANNOT change."
• "Do not speak, unless spoken to."
• "Do not defend ANYTHING."

If I've told you about this class, even once, you know why those were there. Now, during this particular class last night, I was consciously questioning God as to why I had to sit through this. At one point, I was so overcome with how pointless this class was to my life's goal, that I was about to gather my things, stand up, and just leave. Then God spoke:

"Kristen, you can't get up and walk out of here, yet. I'm not finished. I am still working to prepare you for this. The trials you are now going through have a purpose in the preparation. Look to Me. Talk to Me. Let Me guide you. We'll journey together in this."

Dang, that was powerful! I can't even totally describe to you just how clear that was, but it was crystal clear in the middle of the professor talking. God proved to me last night exactly what Paul said in Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."
Let's do this God! Let's journey together! I know it's definitely hard to look to God in the midst of the crap we sometimes go through, but listen for His crystal clear voice. Because if you do, He's going to guide you through the dark and tangled forest, and lead us out into the view of His Majesty!