Showing posts with label Summer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Summer. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

This is... summer?

Today, I am being that "typical" person - you know, the one that inhabits coffee shops, laptop and iced coffee close at hand, jamming out to Mumford & Sons. I haven't done this in quite sometime, however, during the school year, I was known to frequent the local coffee shops to spent countless hours reading Philosophy and History texts and write term papers. Lately, however, the balance of my life and my being have been completely thrown off by the little season known as: SUMMER.
One minute, I went to bed stoked that I had FINALLY finished the first year of a 2-year hell known as "Graduate School" and had earned the covetous A's, thus bringing my overall GPA to a higher average than I had my entire undergraduate career at BGSU.
The next minute, I woke up with no study requirements, no classes to teach, no emails from professors flooding my inbox with work requests. I found myself in a precarious position of not having a steady M-F, 9-5 job, and no schoolwork to complete for the first time since... 2004, or the summer before my junior year of high school. Yes, it's true, I have been doing the 9-month school year, 3-month 40-hour work week summer for the last 7 years. Of those years, the last 4-5 years have been filled with college, then a summer of Leadership Training in Estes Park, Colorado and a 40-hour work week at the YMCA of the Rockies in Food Service. I haven't spent a summer in Ohio since 2006, the summer after I graduated high school, when I still worked in the Games Dept. at Kings Island.

But that all has changed. I can't imagine that God is a fan of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but I can very much picture him saying, "And now, it's time for something a little different." Not only am I spending a summer in Ohio for the first time in nearly 5 years, but I'm spending my summer in somewhat unfamiliar territory to me: Northeast Ohio. I've never actually claimed to LIVE in the same town where I go to school, even if my residential address has been in the town for 9 months of the year. But in August of this year, I can say that I have lived in Kent for 1 complete year. A completely new and unfamiliar experience for me.

Of what, exactly, does my summer consist? I'm still figuring that one out, but there are few details I do have nailed down right now, and some things of my own I'd like to do.

Currently, I have 4 different jobs. 1 is actual employment, the other 3 are considered "self-employed." This is going to make paying taxes to the government a little more complicated and interesting than normal, for sure (if you're interested in those kinds of things). Here they are:

May 22 - August 20: Kent State University School of Music: Music Education Dept.
Net Income: $990, before taxes
I'll be cataloguing new and old materials for the new Music Education Resource Center, updating listservs, updating/re-writing the Handbook for Music Education, preparing observation schedules for Fall 2011, working on syllabi for Fall 2011 classes, and other various projects they come up with (and they will, believe me, they will).

June 1 - the future: Sound Board Music, Instrumental & Keyboard Instructor
Net Income: depends on the # of students I accrue; $30/month/student is the rate for lessons
Currently, the owner has it set up that I will be accepting violin, viola, cello, bass, flute, clarinet, alto/tenor saxophone, and elementary/intermediate piano/keyboard students.
This job I will be able to keep going through the next school year. Just over in Stow, it will be a nice short drive, which is perfect. I generally would charge $18-$20/lesson (which ends up being ~$75/month/student), which means I'm making less than teaching on my own here, however, this man is finding the students and scheduling them for me. Otherwise, I would need to be sitting in on a lot of band/orchestra rehearsals around the area, and really pushing to get students. This ends up saving me time, and gas money. Two pluses to this job: 1) I can re-arrange students to fit my Fall 2011 Class Schedule and continue teaching and making a little extra money in the fall; 2) Since students pay at the beginning of the month, I still get paid even if a student doesn't show up for a lesson.

July 24-29: Tallmadge HS Marching Band Camp, Woodwind - Clarinet Tech; Marching Tech
Net Income: $350, plus room/board
Travelling to Westerville, OH to teach at Band Camp. It's been a few years since I've worked at a band camp. I'm pretty excited, and a little nervous.

August 1 - 19: Revere HS Marching Band, Woodwind, Drill and Marching Tech
Net Income: $600-$700 (negotiable)
PLEASE be in prayer for this one! I am meeting with the band director in the next week to discuss duties and payment. I'm REALLY praying for $700, as it will help with some bills, and having a little extra money in the savings account for emergency funds (such as car repairs, technology repairs, etc). The set of camps and practices run here are great because they do them all at Revere HS, so I won't have to travel far, except to the HS. I'm really looking forward to this one.

**Currently, I am also in contact with Dr. Stoll from Southeast HS. It is possible that if their camps/practices line up with what I already have scheduled, I will be able to work with them as well.

None of these jobs have started yet, which leaves me with a lot of free time. Aside from working, I've been spending a lot of time with Isaiah. This relationship has been a completely different experience for me. It has required me to work through a lot of my past experiences (fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it). God has been completely faithful in all this to reveal Himself to me, and to guide me through the dark places, wounds, and scars left by my past. I definitely still have a LONG way to go in this area, but looking back at the last two years, I've definitely come a long way. I really don't think I could've asked for a greater friend in my boyfriend; he's been more than patient, and understanding with me as I work through things with God. He allows me space when I need it, and patiently waits until I feel comfortable enough to talk through things. Satan, at times, loves to step in and tell me little lies about all of this, but I know that Jesus has crushed him with His heel, and that the love of God triumphs over all, so I keep listening for the still, small voice (and sometimes, the powerfully gentle voice) that tells me the Truth of who I am, and where He's taking me and guiding us in this.

Though it may not look like it from what I've just described, I actually will have more time than I have in the past to do some work of my own. I have a few things I'd like to personally accomplish over the summer:


  • Book List: While I don't have a specific list of books, I'm going to challenge myself to see HOW MANY books I can get through this summer. I've already finished 1 (The Shack), and am in the middle of 3 others (see "Currently Reading" side panel). I'll keep you updated on how many and what I've finished as we keep going.
  • Post-a-day: This may not be AS consistent, depending on when I have to send in my laptop for repairs, and being out of town for vacations/work, but I'm going to make a valiant effort. Some days they may be serious posts about what I'm learning, and at times they may just be updates, like this one!
  • Pictures: I have a picture blog, because I actually enjoy taking photos. Lately, that hasn't been happening as often, however, I have a reasonable goal to post a picture everyday - every other day. I want to capture my summer in Ohio through pictures, since it's somewhat of a "new" experience for me.
  • Curriculum and Course of Study: Go ahead, say it, I dare you: NERD. Whatever, I have a degree and state licensure, so it's my profession now. I currently have 3 books (including the SAGE) on Curriculum and Instruction. I'm also taking a class on the subject in Fall 2011 through the College of Education. My goal is to take some of the Curriculum layouts I started working on for projects in my undergrad, and hopefully develop a full course of study and curriculum that could be implemented in school system. This is a project that will take a lot of time and research, one that I'll probably continue to work on throughout Fall semester. I hope to go as far as to have curriculum for grades K-12 general music, band and orchestra, dividing it up to elementary, middle, and high school, with a possibility of breaking it down into grade level objectives for a school year. We'll see how far I get by the end of the summer. Right now, I'm just in the researching stages.
  • Gardening: Yes, I live in an apt., which presents a bit of a challenge when growing plants. Isaiah and I planted 21 plastic cups' worth of seeds on Monday. I will probably plant a few more of the seeds with the remaining potting soil I have later this week. I decided to do this as a surprise (it won't be much of a surprise once she reads this) for my roommate next school year, Cathy. She really wanted a tomato plant on the porch of our new apt. when we move in, but by then, it'd be too late to plant one. Here's the seeds I planted:
    • Columbine, Ice Princess, Shasta Daisy, Forget-Me-Not (2 cups each, 1 extra Columbine)
    • Cilantro, Oregano, Garlic Chives, Rosemary (2 cups each)
    • Bell Pepper, Tomato (3 cups each)
  • Vacation Abroad: June 17-28/29. Going home to Cincinnati June 17-19 to see Shelby's final performance as Kylie in "Dead Serious About Life" and their ad-lib show, Father's Day with dad, and visiting friends; June 20-26 in Colorado to visit LT 2011 and friends; June 27-28/29 north of Columbus camping and spending time with family.
  • Friends: I'm hoping to meet up with some friends around the area a little more often than I did during the school year for coffee and/or lunch/dinner to catch up and walk through life together this summer.
In all, I believe an ambitious summer lies before me. While I'm nervous about being around Northeast Ohio - an altogether new place for me, and have often gotten nostalgic in the last week, looking through pictures of past summers in the Rocky Mountains and discussing LT's of old with Amber, I know that it will be no less life-changing and exciting. If you've made it to the end of this, congratulations. You have now been updated.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Turning Pages; No Reading Ahead

I was debating about what to write about this morning, as I know I want to write a series about my thoughts on education in America right now, the current position of music education, and my personal thoughts and philosophy of music and music education. However, in this quiet moment as I sit here, Bible open, listening to the Afters and drinking some coffee with 2 dogs laying at my feet and the sun shining through the back door window, I decided to wait on starting that series in favor of giving some input on where I'm at in life.
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41:10
I remember the first time I heard this verse, when Kim Smith presented it at H2O's The Spring, the end of my freshman year. Her talk followed a showing of Rob Bell's Nooma Videos: 001 Rain. What an awesome combination! She presented it in the following way (which is still written in my Bible):

a) "So do not fear, for I am WITH YOU": God is BY OUR SIDE
b) "do not be dismayed, for I am YOUR GOD": God is OVER us
c) "I will STRENGTHEN you and HELP you": God is INSIDE us (Holy Spirit)
d) "I will UPHOLD YOU with my righteous right hand": God is UNDER us

So, putting that in perspective, our lives look about like this:
As you can see, God literally SURROUNDS us! The first time I heard this from Kim, it basically blew my mind. But now, 4 years later (Wow, it's been THAT long ago!!!) I can say this has continually helped me to understand God's character and His love for me. Which is exactly what the last month of my life has been about.
In the last month, I have struggled to know I'm not alone in the fight, that I can stand up, that I am clean and whole, that God can use someone as broken as I am to reveal His glory to others: through my work, my career, my interactions with others, and especially through relationships. Praise God, He doesn't just leave us alone in that! God has spoken, and has shown me that He is very much by my side in everything I go through, that He has, can, and will lift me up out of my sin, to be clean and whole. That He is in me, daily cleansing, teaching, guiding, directing, and revealing His never-failing, unending love... that He surrounds me and everything in my life and everything I do!

But, what does this look like practically? Here's a few major events from the last month of life:
The most ongoing event has been God's healing. I believe this will continue, and won't end until we reach the other side of Heaven. However painful, it's been so refreshing for God to show me the wounds from my past that still hurt and haunt me in the present-day, and then for Him to speak His Truth into that pain and those wounds, and heal them, re-teaching me how to understand life. He has revealed some events from my past that I didn't even think were a "big deal", but caused some wounds in me that I never saw before, never understood. He is continually making me beautiful in and through this.

One of the biggest "events" if you will, that I underwent was the last week of February. At a H2O "Souled Out" service God caught me off-guard and asked me to fast: Fast for answers, to seek God and His Truth, to praise Him. So I fasted from coffee for an entire week (if you know me, this was a HUGE challenge!), fasted from Facebook for an entire week, and from food on Tuesday and Thursday of that week. He also asked me to fast from communication with my boyfriend, which I blindly said okay to, and didn't think much of it. Then, Sunday night came, and I didn't tell him that this is what God asked of me; we talked for an hour, said goodnight, and I went to work on some homework. Then, God caught me again. This time, He showed me a lot of lies I was believing about myself that were related to past relationships, and my own sins, and how that was affecting my relationship with my boyfriend. I realized that the ONLY way I was going to believe that this one was different, that he truly sees things through God's eyes, that this was God-ordained... was to hear it straight from Jesus Himself. God completely broke me down, so I had to make a phone call, and learned that... I wasn't the only one struggling with these lies! Seriously, how dumb can satan get? Coloring with the SAME crayon? Okay, dumb. At that point, I knew God was going to do some big things.
That week of fasting was SO good. God revealed some big Truths to me about who I am, and what He's done for me. I really understood that people can't fill the holes from my past, but Christ can cover those holes, that HE is BIGGER and BETTER than my deficits that I desire to be filled, and that I have to allow Him to re-make me into something new and beautiful. And that a true man of God in my life will see the bumps and the scars, but will see them as a part of the new creation Christ as made, and will enjoy the beautiful creation Christ has created from this mess. God really showed me that He wants to give me my heart's desires, that He has ordained this, but I need to step back and accept His gifts and blessings, accept what He offers me, and stop checking them against my own "lists." I realized that in the back of my mind, not on any paper, I have had "lists" of where my life should go and what a relationship should look like and what the other person my relationship should look like; lists that have been forged by the world's standards, not God's. That week I metaphorically "burned" those lists, erasing any ideas I might have of what a relationship and what the other person should be like. Which allowed God to start re-writing those "lists." God actually showed me that by making those lists, I was actually LIMITING HIM! What He has for me is actually BEYOND what I can imagine, and in making a list I am actually LIMITING Him in what He can and wants to give me. I saw that the #1 reason I make "lists" of what I want and "deserve" is because I feel so unclean at times, so undeserving of what God has to offer; it's beyond what I deserve in this life, so I make a list that limits what I should get to what I deserve. But that's the OPPOSITE of what God wants to do with my life. He wants to offer me a beautiful and whole relationship with a person who's also following hard after Him, so that in the end HE MAY BE GLORIFIED. That's the whole reason He offers us undeserved gifts: BECAUSE HE LOVES HIS CHILDREN AND CHOOSES TO BLESS THEM IN HIS UNENDING LOVE, THAT HE MAY BE GLORIFIED. IT IS ONLY BY HIS LOVE AND GRACE THAT WE HAVE WHAT WE HAVE.
These Truths have allowed me to have a closer friendship and relationship with the person God has blessed my life with, and I couldn't be more thankful. I am learning to be more and more complete in Christ, to be content and satisfied with His love, so that any earthly love I receive is just a blessing, an overflow of His love in my life. 

That being said, there are a lot of things I tend to "worry" about in this life. 
Firstly, this will be the first summer since I graduated high school (2006, or 5 years ago) that I have spent in Ohio. I've spent the last 4 summers in Colorado, either working or as part of GCM's Leadership Training. I don't have a job yet, and no clue as to what I'll be doing. I've emailed 10-12 band directors looking for paid positions doing marching bands, but nothing stable for the entire summer as of yet. My "next step" is to start applying to places like Panera and Starbucks, and turning in my resume to Sound Board Music, Woodsy's, and a few other local music stores. 
Secondly, I'll be graduating from KSU with my Master's in Music Education in about a year. This time last year, I was calling grad schools to find out their final decisions on my applications, I was filling out applications to 3 school districts in Colorado, and figuring out how to transfer my Ohio Teaching License over to Colorado. I realize that in about 9 months from now, I'm going to have to start that process all over again. Except this time, I think I'll be staying in Ohio looking for jobs, which could be a little scary. There's so much uncertainty in what will happen after I graduate. For one, who knows how or to what extent the government is going to mess up our educational system, both on a national level and on a state level (look for a blog on this later). For another, I don't know where to apply or how long I'll be there, or what's going to happen with everything else in my life. I'm generally one that likes to have a "plan." Spontaneity can occur, but within parameters, or a time frame. So, in all that uncertainty, it does throw me off quite a bit.
That being said, if you've been following up to this point, then you can see how one relates to the other. Because I know that God surrounds me, and is in me, guiding me, I have no reason to worry. I am DAILY giving up these worries and concerns to Christ, allowing Him to bring me to peace and contentment that I am in His will, right where He wants me, and if I continue to daily follow Him, to DAILY follow Him in obedience, then He will guide me and reveal to me what He intends to do with the things I am concerned about.

And so here I am. Allowing God to write my story, reading and turning the pages, but not skipping ahead. Taking it one page, or one day, at a time, and waiting for Him to reveal how the plot will twist and turn when we get to those pages.