I made the return journey from Colorado to Ohio 2 weeks ago, and have been attempting to settle in these last 2 weeks. Only, there were about 5 wrenches, a few hammers, and maybe a buzz saw thrown in there to make it a little more interesting. Okay, maybe not literally, but enough hang-ups to the already difficult adjustment process to make one possibly question their entire life's purpose. We were supposed to move into our apartment last weekend, only to find that the apartment company was taking longer than expected to clean all the apartments in the complex, and even though our move-in date was listed for last week, our apartment didn't seem to be very high on the priority list. This was a little frustrating, only because I never plan to spend much time at home, and I was hoping to get to Kent as soon as possible to find my way around my new home, adjust to my surroundings, and figure out what my new life is going to look like for the next two years.
So, being stuck at home, questioning if we were ever going to get our apartment (they didn't know what day we'd be able to move in), I decided to spend some extra time down at the University of Cincinnati with some good friends from Collegiate Ministry. I have some amazing friends there that helped me get my mind off the "apartment blues" and was able to have fun swing dancing, worshipping, playing games, hanging out, moving people across campus and painting an apartment. After a week at one of my favorite campuses, I headed up north to BGSU to hang out with H2O - BGSU for the weekend. Here the apartment saga continues: on the way up, I call the complex and find out... OUR APARTMENT IS FINALLY READY! Then, I've spent the weekend handing out water bottles to new freshmen and their parents, talking to students about our amazing church and ministry here at BGSU, asking students to fill out surveys and giving them pens, schedules, and candy in return, and re-connecting with old friends, and some new. Tomorrow, Sunday, I'll finally end the crazy trip around Ohio campuses by moving into my apartment at Kent, and then, finally, hanging out and getting involved with H2O - Kent, starting graduate student orientation, meeting with professors and other grad students, starting classes, and teaching undergrad classes.
I'm sure this sounds all well and exciting, and believe me it is, but let's talk about how many changes are happening and how my mind is having just a little bit of trouble processing things. I love being down at UC, and wish I could have stayed there, but I know it wouldn't have worked out. It's really just too close to home. Which is a bummer, because I miss everyone and campus already. And being at BGSU, well that's just great too, I love the people here, and would give my life to serving our ministry here, but I know that it's not where I'm supposed to be right now. Yesterday as I was walking around campus, hearing friends talk about how excited they were for the year, I finally realized this, and how out of place I was. I don't have anything to look forward to at BGSU anymore. I don't have an apartment to move into, no classes here anymore. In fact, a good majority of my closest friends, minus a few people on staff that have been my mentors for the past few years, aren't here anymore either, which really helps the process of leaving to sink in. It's hard to say goodbye to a place that, despite how icky it looks 9 months out of the year, has served as a home for the last 4 years. But, I feel it was almost necessary to be here this weekend, as it has helped to finalize the "goodbye" process.
And now, the changes of grad school. Something my mind doesn't comprehend. It doesn't matter how many people I talk to about it, I still don't understand what they're talking about or what it looks like, or how my life is going to be. This is what I've been sitting around waiting for during the last week while my apartment wasn't ready. Just getting to Kent, moving in, and experiencing everything for myself. Understanding my role in the church and ministry, what it looks like to teach undergrad students, and how much time and work and energy I'm going to have to devote to studies and research for classes. Because, honestly, only having 3 classes I actually have to take really doesn't sound that difficult... but I know that's DEFINITELY not true.
One thing I am MOST excited for, no matter how anxious or confused I am is what God has been doing in me this summer, and what He's going to continue to do throughout the school year. Oh yeah, and just as exciting... I can't wait to share this year with some AMAZING new people from this summmer! It's a lot of changes... but at least I'm not alone.
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| Beautiful Kent ladies from Colorado LT 2010 this summer on Spirit Night! Go Golden Flashes! (whatever a Golden Flash is... I still don't know) |
